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Beyond Bread and Prayers: What Our Children Really Need

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By Binta Tanko

In Northern Nigerian homes, a quiet crisis is unfolding. It is not marked by poverty, disobedience, or the erosion of tradition, but by something far subtler: the growing emotional distance between parents and their children.

Across Arewa, countless children girls and boys alike are raised in households where love is expressed through provision rather than presence, where respect is demanded rather than earned, and where emotions are often misunderstood or dismissed.

We are losing our children emotionally, and many of us do not even realize it.

The Paradox of Love and Fear
Arewa parents are among the most hardworking and prayerful. They sacrifice endlessly, laboring to secure our futures and covering us in heartfelt du’as. For this, we are deeply grateful. Their devotion is a foundation we carry with us wherever we go.

But love cannot thrive on bread and prayers alone.

Children are not just bodies to be fed or minds to be educated they are hearts to be nurtured, spirits to be guided, souls in need of warmth and safety. Yet, for too many, home was never the safest place.

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We did not fear physical harm, but the sting of emotional rejection. We feared “disappointing” you. We feared being misunderstood. For some, the dread of a parent’s reaction felt more paralyzing than the uncertainties of the world outside.

The Outsourcing of Emotional Healing
Today, many Arewa youth especially girls turn to strangers online to process pain that should be unpacked at home. They confide in bloggers, anonymous forums, or even unverified “therapists” on social media. They beg for anonymity, pouring out their hearts to people they do not know, simply because they feel judged or dismissed by their own families.

Some find kindness in these spaces. Others are met with ridicule, shame, or dangerous misinformation. Yet, even that feels safer than speaking to their parents.

This is a warning sign.

When a child finds more comfort in strangers than in their own home, it is not just a cultural shift it is a crisis.

The Roots of Emotional Silence
Many Arewa mothers, shaped by their own upbringing, struggle to embrace emotional softness. Many fathers equate strictness with strength. Sons grow up believing emotions are a sign of weakness; daughters learn to suffer in silence.

But mental health is not “foreign,” nor is it a sign of spiritual failure. It is a human reality one that our homes must make space for.

A child who cannot speak to their parents about abuse, heartbreak, or shame is a child at risk of anxiety, depression, trauma, or worse. These are not imaginary struggles. They ripple into our schools, marriages, and futures.

A Call for a New Culture of Care
We are not asking for perfect parents. We are asking for present ones—for mothers and fathers who listen as much as they instruct, for homes where vulnerability is met with warmth, not wrath.

Let mothers know that softness is not weakness.
Let fathers understand that approachability is not a failure.
Let us unlearn the culture of silence we inherited.

If children keep seeking comfort outside the home, we will continue to lose them emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes, permanently.

It is not too late.

This is a call to Arewa parents—and to future parents, too. Let us build a new tradition, one where emotional care is as vital as food and faith, where love is not just provided but felt.

Let us restore the gentle love our homes once knew because we still need it.

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At 89, Obasanjo Reflects: “Leadership’s Burden and Blessing Are Often the Same

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By Yusuf Danjuma Yunusa

Former President Olusegun Obasanjo marked his 89th birthday not with quiet celebration, but with a characteristically frank discourse on the nature of power, using his own dramatic life story—from military commander to imprisoned dissident to democratically elected president—as the central case study.

Delivering a keynote address at an international colloquium in Abeokuta, the Ogun State capital, Obasanjo described leadership as a double-edged sword: a profound burden that is also a deep privilege. The event, titled “Burden and Blessing of Leadership: Reflections from Global Africa to the World,” saw the elder statesman argue that the quality of a nation’s leaders is the primary determinant of its fate.

Obasanjo opened with a stark personal testament, recalling his imprisonment by the late military ruler Sani Abacha. He framed the experience not just as personal suffering, but as evidence of a core principle.

“My imprisonment proves the price of a principled stand,” he told the audience. “Leadership without principle is mere management. True leadership demands that you say no when yes would be more convenient — and that comes at a cost.”

He argued that many who seek power are seduced by its perks, underestimating the immense personal sacrifices required. Drawing on his experience commanding the Third Marine Commando Division during the Nigerian Civil War, he painted a vivid picture of leadership’s isolating core.

“There is the loneliness of the final decision,” Obasanjo explained. “When all the briefings have been received and all arguments made, you alone must decide. That weight does not distribute itself.” He recalled the final days of the war in January 1970, when he chose restraint to protect civilians. “No textbook told me what to do. The decision was mine alone,” he stated, underscoring the immense moral weight that leaders must carry.

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Despite the hardships—including more than three years in detention—Obasanjo insisted he would choose the same path again. He spoke of the profound fulfilment found in service, describing Nigeria’s first peaceful transition from military to civilian rule in 1979, when he handed over power to Shehu Shagari, as one of the most rewarding moments of his career.

“There is the blessing of having been given the opportunity to matter—to serve at the hinge of history,” he reflected. “It was the relief of having been tested and not found wanting. The greatest burden a man can carry is his country on his shoulders. The greatest blessing he can also receive is that country’s gratitude. At 89, I now understand that the burden and the blessing are often the same.”

Shifting his focus from the personal to the continental, Obasanjo offered a sharp diagnosis of Africa’s struggles, arguing that the root cause is not a lack of resources but a failure of governance.

“Africa is richly endowed—with mineral wealth, vast arable land and the world’s youngest population. By every measure, we should be prosperous and stable,” he noted. “Instead, too much of our continent remains trapped in preventable suffering.”

He placed the blame squarely on poor leadership, weak institutions, and systemic corruption, warning of the fragility inherent in personality-driven governance. “When a country’s trajectory depends solely on the character of one person, that country is permanently fragile,” he cautioned.

Looking forward, Obasanjo called for a fundamental rethinking of the continent’s political and economic models. He urged leaders to adapt democratic systems to local realities without sacrificing the core principles of accountability, transparency, and inclusiveness.

He advocated for a massive investment in leadership development and institutional strengthening, emphasizing that sustainable progress requires systems that outlast any single individual. He also identified the global African diaspora as a critical, underutilized asset and urged governments to create conditions that encourage their engagement and investment.

On the economic front, Obasanjo pointed to the African Continental Free Trade Area (AfCFTA) as a transformative opportunity that, if fully implemented, could reshape the continent’s global standing.

He concluded with a message of hope and a charge to the next generation, framing leadership as the key to unlocking the continent’s vast potential.

“Africa is not a problem to be managed,” Obasanjo declared. “Africa is a promise to be fulfilled — and leadership is how that promise gets kept.”

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Walida Was 16, Not 20’ — Father Fires Back at Women Minister, Demands Justice

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A fresh controversy has emerged in the ongoing case of Walida Abdulhadi, the young woman whose alleged abduction by a Department of State Services (DSS) operative, Ifeanyi Onyewuenyi, has sparked national outrage, as conflicting accounts of her age continue to dominate public discourse.

Walida’s father, Malam Abdulhadi, has strongly rejected a claim by the Minister of Women Affairs, Hajiya Imaan Sulaiman-Ibrahim, that his daughter was about 20 years old at the time of the alleged abduction. He described the minister’s statement as “baseless hearsay,” insisting that family records clearly show that Walida was a minor when she was taken.

Malam Abdulhadi questioned how a government official who is not a member of the family could determine the birth date of his daughter.

“The minister was not the one who gave birth to her,” he said. “I married her mother in 2007, and I can tell you that she was abducted when she was 16 years old. She only recently turned 18.”

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He further dismissed references to what he described as a “strange indigene certificate” allegedly used to support claims about Walida’s age, arguing that the timeline of his marriage and family history provides a clearer basis for verification.

“Is the minister in a position to tell me the age of my daughter when she does not know when I got married to her mother?” he asked. “She should come out publicly and say what she said was not true. It is simply propaganda.”

Adding weight to the family’s position, Walida’s maternal uncle, Malam Yunusa Kani, also challenged the minister’s statement, insisting that the family’s records contradict the official narrative.

According to him, Walida’s mother was married in Anku in 2007 and gave birth to Walida the following year.

“We were witnesses to the marriage ceremony in 2007,” Kani said. “After about a year, the family was blessed with Walida’s birth in 2008. That is the fact. We do not know where the minister got her information.”

He urged the government to handle the matter with fairness and sensitivity, noting that the family had already endured significant emotional distress since the alleged abduction.

“She must remember that public officials will be held accountable for what they say. We plead with the government to take pity on us and ensure justice is done,” he added.

Walida’s younger sister, Fatima Abdulhadi, also spoke during the programme, offering further details about the family timeline.

“I am 14 years old, and my brother who was born after Walida is 16 years old,” she said. “Walida was abducted two years ago.”

Source: Veteran Journalist and a PR Guru Yushau Shuaibu

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Former Kano Finance Commissioner Prof. Dandago Is Dead 

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A former Kano State Commissioner for Finance, Professor Kabiru Isa Dandago, is dead.

The renowned accounting and taxation scholar passed away on Wednesday evening at the Aminu Kano Teaching Hospital after a brief illness.

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Until his death, Prof. Dandago was a respected professor of Accounting and Taxation at Bayero University Kano, where he made significant contributions to academic research and financial studies.

His funeral prayers will take place at his residence in Rijiyar Zaki Kano by 9: AM

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