BY .
Mudassir Aliyu Yunusa
Man as a social creature cannot live as an Ireland that is in isolation of his fellow human beings.
The nature of man compels him/ her to be surrounded by fellow human being especially friends and associates for the purpose of sharing personal experiences, interwoven and mutual benefits.
There are different types of friends which people mingled with. In Hausa community the bond of true friendship is very sensitive, it is believed to be among the best agent of socialization and true brotherhood. Among the true features of Friendship are mutual understanding and trust.
Ideally, Friendship can be built base on mutual understanding, trust derived from good or bad attitudes.
The most sincere friendship is the one that exist right from childhood to adolescent up to the adulthood which mostly happened as a result of coming together in a peer group, school or other places that the dou are frequently meeting. This, if there is sincerity and trustworthy the union will be more valuable than many blood relationship.
On the other hand, Toxic Friends are those people who associate themselves with you for all the wrong reasons but pretend to be in good time with you just to fulfill and satisfy their ulterior motive which they belive to be. These types of friends will make sure they won your heart and secure your trust and later betray you and have terrible experience with you.
Some might even loom you and make sure you are doomed. Most of the toxic friends that we keep company with are people that we have been friends since childhood, those we used to play with in our locality, village square, city centre, or those we met and make them best friends in middle school up to the high school or university But for one reason or the other changed to be people that are not exactly the same when you grew up with.
However, with religious provision friendship has received high recognition especially when friends who happened to live in harmonious and honest way through sharing bonds, creating memories, and helping each other out, those are the righteous friends who will reap the benefit of true togetherness in the day of judgement.
In contrast having fake friends is valueless and insignificant as the implication will turn negative after they enjoy the comfort associated with you and achieved their selfish and idiosyncratic interest, then they will begin to show their true but negative color and display their evil plans against you.
There are also some categories of friends especially in school that are called ACADEMIC LADDER who deliberately used and dumped you. They mostly associate with you with the aim of attaining their academic pursuit, most of this relationship terminated after school life unexpectedly and immediately.
These are real toxic Friends.
The simple way you can identified toxic friends are:
They aren not happy when good things happen to you despite the fact that a true friend will always want to see you succeed and in happy mood.
They don’t mind when bad thing happened to you.
THEY always want challenge and count your errors rather than selling your efforts.
They only call when they want something from you.
They will aggressively show their resentment, enmity and bad feeling when you are successful and when you are respected more than them in the community they will find a way for downgrading you.
The most dangerous thing is that, a toxic friend will never compliment you.
They will never pick you up or congratulate you on your achievement. In fact, they are much more likely to kick you when you are down.
In a nutshell, one has to be very careful and became so cautious about friendship. particularly a TOXIC FRIENDSHIP.
Let me end my piece with the following quotes
“You are allowed to terminate toxic relationship, you are free to walk away from people who betray you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself.”
“Note that, not everyone will appreciate what you do for them. You have to figure out who is worth your kindness and who is just taking advantage”.
“It is better you keep people who will sincerely love you, motivate you, make you happy when you are in grief for the sake of God. If you find out among your friends those who do none of the about, let them go out of your life. Period”.
MUDASSIR can be reached on 08028188129
