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<p>By Binta Tanko</p><div class="7aRn9K7w" style="clear:both;float:left;width:100%;margin:0 0 20px 0;"><script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>

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<p>In Northern Nigerian homes, a quiet crisis is unfolding. It is not marked by poverty, disobedience, or the erosion of tradition, but by something far subtler: the growing emotional distance between parents and their children.</p>
<p>Across Arewa, countless children girls and boys alike are raised in households where love is expressed through provision rather than presence, where respect is demanded rather than earned, and where emotions are often misunderstood or dismissed.</p>
<p>We are losing our children emotionally, and many of us do not even realize it.</p><div class="uibDn4AG" style="clear:both;float:left;width:100%;margin:0 0 20px 0;"><script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>

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<p>The Paradox of Love and Fear<br />
Arewa parents are among the most hardworking and prayerful. They sacrifice endlessly, laboring to secure our futures and covering us in heartfelt du’as. For this, we are deeply grateful. Their devotion is a foundation we carry with us wherever we go.</p>
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<p>But love cannot thrive on bread and prayers alone.</p>
<p>Children are not just bodies to be fed or minds to be educated they are hearts to be nurtured, spirits to be guided, souls in need of warmth and safety. Yet, for too many, home was never the safest place.</p>
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<p>We did not fear physical harm, but the sting of emotional rejection. We feared &#8220;disappointing&#8221; you. We feared being misunderstood. For some, the dread of a parent’s reaction felt more paralyzing than the uncertainties of the world outside.</p>
<p>The Outsourcing of Emotional Healing<br />
Today, many Arewa youth especially girls turn to strangers online to process pain that should be unpacked at home. They confide in bloggers, anonymous forums, or even unverified &#8220;therapists&#8221; on social media. They beg for anonymity, pouring out their hearts to people they do not know, simply because they feel judged or dismissed by their own families.</p>
<p>Some find kindness in these spaces. Others are met with ridicule, shame, or dangerous misinformation. Yet, even that feels safer than speaking to their parents.</p>
<p>This is a warning sign.</p>
<p>When a child finds more comfort in strangers than in their own home, it is not just a cultural shift it is a crisis.</p>
<p>The Roots of Emotional Silence<br />
Many Arewa mothers, shaped by their own upbringing, struggle to embrace emotional softness. Many fathers equate strictness with strength. Sons grow up believing emotions are a sign of weakness; daughters learn to suffer in silence.</p>
<p>But mental health is not &#8220;foreign,&#8221; nor is it a sign of spiritual failure. It is a human reality one that our homes must make space for.</p>
<p>A child who cannot speak to their parents about abuse, heartbreak, or shame is a child at risk of anxiety, depression, trauma, or worse. These are not imaginary struggles. They ripple into our schools, marriages, and futures.</p>
<p>A Call for a New Culture of Care<br />
We are not asking for perfect parents. We are asking for present ones—for mothers and fathers who listen as much as they instruct, for homes where vulnerability is met with warmth, not wrath.</p>
<p>Let mothers know that softness is not weakness.<br />
Let fathers understand that approachability is not a failure.<br />
Let us unlearn the culture of silence we inherited.</p>
<p>If children keep seeking comfort outside the home, we will continue to lose them emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes, permanently.</p>
<p>It is not too late.</p>
<p>This is a call to Arewa parents—and to future parents, too. Let us build a new tradition, one where emotional care is as vital as food and faith, where love is not just provided but felt.</p>
<p>Let us restore the gentle love our homes once knew because we still need it.</p>
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