By Adamu Tilde
Permit me to preface this writing with two, though contrasting, personal experiences— one in 2014 and the other one around mid-2017.
Sometimes around August in 2014, while preparing for our study visa in Hungary, I met this intelligent guy who later became a very close friend. He confided in me that he was actually thinking of not following us to Hungary. I was like “Seriously? Guy, are you for real?”. Something in me was telling me that “well the guy looks cool and exudes no such empty boastfulness and show-off that many young guys are known for.” Though skeptical but I was cool with his decision. I never bothered to inquire why. Life went on. In any case, he did follow us.
We set out for Hungary. Since we were to study the same course, we did almost all the documentation and moved around together. Given his quiet disposition, critical mindset, and insatiable quest for knowledge, it’s natural that our friendship grew stronger.
We began to share our stories and experiences. We later realized that we were inducted by our professional body together. We both made the distinction in our professional exams though he had 80% while I had 78%.
After some considerations, we moved into the same room. I had observed that whenever we were talking, especially on things that had to do with education and career, he always had superior arguments backed with unquestionable references. I was like “how could he have all those information at his disposal?”. He was and remains just too informed.
A day came that he was suddenly too happy. I asked him “what’s going on?” He showed an email of his selection for a big scholarship. It’s indeed a big scholarship worth €49,000. They were, all in all, seven in numbers, each person representing a continent. He was the one selected from Africa. I later learned that, in 2014 alone, he had been selected for six different Masters scholarship from four different continents. As I type these words, my friend is a first-year Ph.D. candidate at Wageningen University and Research.
[It’s worth mentioning that the immediate previous beneficiary of that much-coveted Scholarship also finished from the same department with my friend. Your guess is as good as mine–he was (and is still) his mentor].
In June 2017, I was recruited for the position of Research Assistant to a Harvard University-based study. I met yet another brilliant guy who later became close friends so much that our supervisor had to separate us by allocating us to different teams. I was carried away by his intelligence and skills in conducting his work.
So one day while we were talking, he narrated to me his ordeals in landing a well-paying job. I told him that he can’t be serious. With his oratory skills and unmatchable mastery of organizational work, he should be saying no to a job position.
I asked him to come along with his CV the following day. When I looked at his CV, I told him point-blank that he should thank God he was lucky to be even considered for aptitude test to this job. “How would prospective employers invite you for an interview with this trash of yours called a CV, my dear friend”, I asked him in a much softer tone.
I reviewed the CV, rearranged it to the liking of the organizations, put the relevant experiences and training here and there in addition to the type and statuses of the referees. After some fallible fine-tuning, I handed it back to him and wished him good luck. By October 2017, five different organizations were ready for him. I advised him to go with the most reputable name.
What do these contrasting stories represent? What can we deduce from their trajectories? What lessons can we learn?
In the first story, we have seen the power of information. In the second story, we have seen the glaring effects of lack of relevant information on the part of my good friend. In spite of the knowledge, skills, training and experience he had, my friend couldn’t make judicious use of his talents. He was all alone on that. There was no one to guide and put him through. And it never occurred to him that he should search for one. Both trajectories weren’t accidental. One was a product of thorough preparation through well-orchestrated plans and the other its lack thereof.
The Economic Advancement Of South-West Nigeria
What do I want to say?
We all need mentors at virtually every stage in our life. They help us in making the right choices. We can circumvent a lot of mistakes and regrets if we have mentors, for they must have passed through that, and will not wish us to suffer the same fate.
Our people have a saying that the depth of a river is ascertained by observing who enters first. As we go into the river of life, we should always ascertain the depth by seeking from those who have gone through it. Mentors are not those type of people you would confront with your truckload of problems, no. Mentors are not ATM for your cash withdrawal, please. They are special people we contact on existential choices about our life. They serve to guide and put us on track.
One thing worth noting is that our mentors don’t live just to attend to our never-ending demands. They also have their lives to live, and often their problems to deal with just like everyone else. We should be courteous, methodical and considerate in making our case that needs their guidance. If we sense they need space, we should give them one and more. We must avoid that nauseating habit of instant demand for attention and answer.
One last thing, we must be respectful. My friend, first class is not enough to land you where you want to be. Attitude is also an integral asset to carry along as you and I journey through this thorny-infested route called life. Do you know what my people say about thorny paths? “Tread carefully and be thoughtful at every step.” Good luck to all of us!
Postscript:
I think there’s a need for us (I mean the people on the north side of the River Niger) to do more, far above what’s obtainable. Those of us that Providence favored should imbibe the habit of nurturing potential young ones. Of what use is our intellection if it all stops with our obituary announcement? I know it’s a double-edged sword; the young ones are not forthcoming, and their attitudes aren’t something to write home about; nonetheless, we can, nay, should do better.
First published 2nd March 2018.
